s​/​t

by beaver

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  •  

1.
03:06
2.
02:48

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recorded in waiting room studio, oswiecim, poland.
to be released on 7" by lifeisafunnything, germany.
cover art by Witek Winek

credits

released June 11, 2015

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beaver Krakow, Poland

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Track Name: contaminated
I don’t trust my instincts
Shaking grounds, balance slipping away. I need my blood contaminated.

There’s nothing authentic in those sudden outbursts
I need to comprehend.

The side effects I face because my blood’s pure
I know the other side, I used to radiate
I wish I’d be above like you, like the other self
I need my blood contaminated.

Because my blood’s pure! I wonder how many times I can live a stranger’s dreams, not pulling strings on my own. I disobey the social cues I know. Cutting it loose, just to see, how far it gets.

I’m getting numb.. I’ve pictured my life wrong.
Can’t hold on with retreat anymore. Contaminated blood, I’ve played the last card!

Don’t make your best / bet on me / I can’t repay /I’ve emptied out the best of myself/ I’ve nothing to offer but diminished sense of being
(I’ve got nothing to offer, I fade, bonded to my fate)

Stepping out of big thoughts, I can’t escape in my sleep
I’ve been struck well too many times.
Until my last breathe I will try in vain.
Again I know I’m not up for change, I need my blood contaminated.
Track Name: tarnished
(I’ve always known you’ll tarnish, as the moments pass and you change, for the last time)
(You gotta fight this war, all by yourself and you lose)
Yes! I saw your back when you left the room
I’m not the one to judge you!
So what’s the price of your misery?
Is it the same as the price of living?

When I saw you for the very last time with your eyes closed
I’ve never asked myself what I’m ought to do
Or what you want me to be
And how disgusting it is, or how disgusted you would be.. That I feel nothing.

Yes I’m aware we never said our goodbyes
I’ve never meant to judge you
How could I look straight to your eyes if you knew what I’ve became
And how little this all means that I failed you.

What’s the price of failure, when I fail you
(Can I face the truth when it knocks back to me?)