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contaminated

from s​/​t by beaver

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lyrics

I don’t trust my instincts
Shaking grounds, balance slipping away. I need my blood contaminated.

There’s nothing authentic in those sudden outbursts
I need to comprehend.

The side effects I face because my blood’s pure
I know the other side, I used to radiate
I wish I’d be above like you, like the other self
I need my blood contaminated.

Because my blood’s pure! I wonder how many times I can live a stranger’s dreams, not pulling strings on my own. I disobey the social cues I know. Cutting it loose, just to see, how far it gets.

I’m getting numb.. I’ve pictured my life wrong.
Can’t hold on with retreat anymore. Contaminated blood, I’ve played the last card!

Don’t make your best / bet on me / I can’t repay /I’ve emptied out the best of myself/ I’ve nothing to offer but diminished sense of being
(I’ve got nothing to offer, I fade, bonded to my fate)

Stepping out of big thoughts, I can’t escape in my sleep
I’ve been struck well too many times.
Until my last breathe I will try in vain.
Again I know I’m not up for change, I need my blood contaminated.

credits

from s​/​t, released June 11, 2015

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beaver Krakow, Poland

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